she..........

Me and ashita have a unique bond.I dont get very friendly with strangers and certainly I have no great friends amongst my seniors.Dont know if its a fault in me but usually i get close to people very rarely.I have never been able to define what i feel for u and maybe i never will be able to.All I know is that in some unique way i feel connected to u.When u smile,I wanna smile........when u cry I wanna cry and in some way I wanna share every small moment of happiness and sadness in ur life.I know maybe i ask for too much.U know why i feel this way about u is coz u define the pinnacles of joy and pain in my life.Those times that I actually spent with u,those 6 hours were the most beautiful memories that I carry.Those times when i knowingly acted slow so that u could get the opportunity of calling me 'DODO'...........lol.......And I want u to know that I will treasure each and every one of those moments for as long as I live.You make me wanna be better than I am.That is probably what u do to every one u know that is why u are so special.Maybe all that I thought about u know was after all an illusion.But this illusion that I lived in is a very special place.Its a place where hearts are never broken and love is true.Its a place where every boy finds the girl of his dreams and they live happily every after.But most importantly for me its a place where I can love u forever........But this is all I have.I know u are in the stage of ur life when its really hard for u to truly appreciate my feelings.And maybe i dont want u too.But i consider myself blessed that i actually got to spend some time with u.Not many guys are so lucky.Anyway as i come to the end of this letter(testimonial) I want u to do one thing for me.Plz never forget me.Coz i wont ever forget u.Remember me as the most impractical guy u ever met,who stupidly believed that true love actually works.Remember me as someone for whom love was never about winning or losing but much more than that.But whatever happens do remember me.

i don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is wat i feel for her..............................
to someone very special(u know who),
i dont know wat my feelings for u really are!i dont know if i love you or if i dont.maybe i have never known love or maybe no one ever has.love has been defined by many and all those definitions seem so right.but what i feel is probably beyond these definitons.
ppl say that there cant be a one sided love.i am not so sure about that anymore.all i know is that whenever u are around my heart beats fast and slow at the same time.when u talk,i listen...............when u are happy,i smile...............when u are sad,i cry...........
i know this sounds absurd.but in this absurdness lies its beauty.
i dont know if words really matter for often i am lost for them.for sometimes what i feel is beyond words.coz words are limited to dictionaries.i dont think a dictionary can define love.
and every shade of love each so unique in its own way will need a billion dictionaries for every heart which beats in love.............
from watever little i know of love 'i can say that it is not subject to logics and algorithms.there is no specific way,no rules,no methods and no conventions it can be subject to.
you and me,me and you may never fit in the routines of this world.but ill always remember wat i felt for u as my rebellion.a rebellion to all norms,all definitions,all conventions that the world has made for love.
for i know if love exists,i love u....in a way only i can and only i will............

APPRECIATING IT ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL!!!

SO I DON’T SEE A VERY ENTHUSIASTIC RESPONSE TO MY BLOG BUT I AM GONNA KEEP WRITING IT ANYWAY.COZ I WANT TO BRING MY FEELINGS OUT ON PAPER.SO ITS BEEN OVER A WEEK NOW AND I AM FEELING BETTER NOW.FIRST FEW DAYS IT WAS VERY HARD OVERCOMING THE FACT.WELL ANYONE WHO HAS COME HERE AND READ THE FIRST POST KNOWS THE FACT.WHAT HAS HAPPENED IS THAT I HAVE DEVELOPED FEELINGS WHICH I REALLY DIDN’T HAVE BEFORE.BEFORE WHEN I LIKED ANY GIRL IT WAS LIKE I WANT HER TO CARE FOR ME TOO.I HAD THIS EGO THING.MEANING I EXPECTED HER TO CARE ABOUT ME TOO.THE DIFFERENCE NOW IS THAT I DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM HER.IF THIS IS THE WAY I FEEL FOR HER I DON’T EXPECT HER TO FEEL THE SAME FOR ME.ONE REASON CUD BE THAT I KNOW THAT SHE NEVER WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME.BUT I KNOW THAT THIS WON’T CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT HER.I SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW WHY THAT IS BUT THAT IS THE WAY IT IS.ANYWAY WONDER WHAT NEXT.WHAT NEW REFRESHING FEELINGS I WILL HAVE NEXT!!!CIAO

an evening makes the difference!!!

IT’S HARD FEELING LIKE THIS!!!
HAVE U GUYS EVER HEARD THE SONG WHAT IS LOVE??MOST OF U WOULD HAVE.ANYWAYS IT IS A BIG QUESTION-WHAT IS LOVE??HOW DO YOU COME TO KNOW WHEN YOU DO FALL IN LOVE? MY FRIEND HAS MANY DEFINTIONS OF LOVE BUT ONE OF THEM I AGREE WITH THE MOST IS-‘LOVE IS A MULTIPLIER OF FEELINGS.’
BUT SOMETIMES I QUESTION MYSELF-IS THIS REALLY TRUE?I MEAN IF SOMEONE I THINK I LOVE IS GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE CAN I REALLY BE HAPPY FOR HER?I MEAN THAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING TO ME.I HAVE AS A GUY HAD MY SHARE OF CRUSHES SO FAR IN MY 20 YEARS.LIKE OTHER PEOPLE I HAVE PICTURED MYSELF WITH A FEW GIRLS AND THOUGHT WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE GOING OUT WITH THEM?SOME OF THEM I HAVE LIKED WHEN I HAVE MET THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME SOME OF THEM GREW UPON ME.
BUT YOU KNOW IT MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO SOME OF YOU.YOU JUST SEE A FACE AND FEEL LIKE OH MY GOD! WHERE THE HELLWAS SHE UPTO THIS TIME? WHY DIDN’T I FIND HER BEFORE? YOU HAVEN’T EVER TALKED TO THEM OR LOOKED AT THEM EVEN MORE THAN ONCE BUT YOU STILL FEEL A STRONG CONNECTION EVEN THOUGH THIS PERSON MAY NOT EVEN KNOW U EXIST.THEN YOU ACTUALLY THINK CAN THIS ACTUALLY BE LOVE??I MEAN I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS FOR ANYONE EVER BEFORE!!
I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE THIS FOR HER.AND IT PAINS ME NO DOUBT AND I CAN’T DENY IT TO SEE HER WITH SOMEONE ELSE.ALTHOUGH PEOPLE SAY THAT IF YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE YOU WANNA SEE THEM HAPPY.I ACTUALLY MET THAT GUY TOO AND HE ACTUALLY SEEMED LIKE A NICE PERSON.BUT STILL IT FEELS LIKE IF THIS ACTUALLY IS LOVE THEN WHY ISN’T SHE WITH ME?I MET HER RECENTLY AND FELL MORE IN AWE OF HER.SHE KEPT TALKING AND I KEPT STARING AT HER FACE THE WHOLE TIME THINKING TO MYSELF GOD HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW THAT SHE DOESN’T CARE MUCH FOR ME ACTUALLY SHE MIGHT NOT CARE FOR ME AT ALL.BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER TO ME NOW.AND THAT ACTUALLY IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HER AND THESE OTHER GIRLS WHO I HAVE LIKED SO FAR.I USED TO CARE FOR THEIR FEELINGS FOR ME.I DON’T ACTUALLY FOR HER FEELINGS FOR ME.ALTHOUGH I WOULD LIKE FOR THEM TO BE A LOT MORE THAN THEY ARE NOW.I KNOW I MAY BE THE STUPIDEST GUY ON EARTH ACTUALLY THINKING THAT THIS MIGHT BE POSSIBLE BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO REALLY.I FIND MYSELF WANTING TO STAY CLOSE TO HER BY ACTUALLY SENDING HER A MAIL EVERYDAY.IT’S BEEN A VERY EMPTY FEELING SINCE THE DAY I MET HER.I GUESS THAT IS THE PARADOX OF LOVE REALLY.IF U HAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE WITH YOU THERE IS NO BETTER FEELING IN THIS WORLD.BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE NOTHING CAN BE MORE FRUSTRATING.
IT’S LIKE IN THIS BOOK TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE WHICH IS ACTUALLY HER FAVOURITE BOOK THERE IS A VERY PRACTICAL THING THAT HAS BEEN THOUGHT ABOUT AND THAT IS THE TENSION AMONG OPPOSITES.IT’S LIKE A HUMAN BEING IS THOUGHT OF AS A RUBBER AND THERE ARE THINGS WHICH APPLY DUAL TENSION ON THIS RUBBER AND LOVE IS ONE OF THEM.SERIOUSLY I AM NO EXPERT ON THESE THINGS THIS IS JUST WHAT I FEEL.AND I HAVE DEVELOPED THESE FEELINGS JUST RECENTLY.I MEAN IT’S LIKE I WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR HER AND I AM IN SOME SORT OF A WAY.THAT SHE HAS FOUND SOMEONE.SOMEONE THAT SHE WANTS TO SPEND HER LIFE WITH.BUT ON THE OTHER HAND I WISH GOD I WISH WHY CAN’T I BE THAT GUY?ANYWAYS I THINK THIS IS ENOUGH FOR TODAY.I WILL KEEP WRITING AND PUT THIS IN A BLOG THAT I AM GONNA CREATE.

my first blog!!

well people if u do dare to come on here once in a while do feel free to post!!i know only my friends wud come on so i dont need to explain wat sorta person i am u all know me.so get kicking and look forward to ur comments!!