Fool's Paradise is Gold!

Writing after a very long time but its still gonna be pretty much the same thing.I have come to believe what I have as my title over the past few days.Now fools paradise is a place where every dream comes true.Its ephemeral alright but till the time it actually does last it makes one very happy.When the image breaks though,it can be very painful.But thats the catch.When you have kind of discovered that you are living in fools paradise and that it will shatter sometime in the near future, you somehow prepare yourself for it.And you hope that you can handle it well.

I have recently been thinking about this image of an ideal world.Utopia if you may.Now this world might be a different one in everyone's eyes but there are some things which would be a part of everyone's definition.But when one is selfish and looks at this from his own perspective,you somehow want things that you know can't happen to take place.

This is where Fools Paradise and this "Ideal" world meet.And its not a good place to be stuck in...

There is no such thing as 'Perfect'

Yeah I know everyone already knows that.But how many of us actually believe it?I am not sure if it happens with everyone,and I am very happy for people it doesnt happen to.But I have always been a dream chaser.I have always chased dreams which seem to me like they will take my life closer to 'perfection'.And thats where I suffer.Because eventually how hard I try and go after it,it keeps slipping away.

I saw a movie today which was amazing in my eyes.Had been putting off seeing this for a long time but finally did see it today.It is called 'The Butterfly Effect' starring Ashton Kutcher and Amy Smart.The realization finally struck me after seeing the movie.For those who have not seen it here is Wikipedia's assessment of the story-

Evan Treborn, who suffered severe traumas as a boy and a teenager , blacks out frequently, often at moments of high stress. While in his dorm room reading one of his journals to a girl, he finds that when he reads from his adolescent journals, he travels back in time, and is able to essentially "redo" parts of his past, thereby causing the blackouts he experienced as a child. There are consequences to his choices, however, that he then propagates back to the present: his alternate futures vary from frat boy to prisoner to amputee. His efforts are driven by the desire to undo the most traumatic events of his childhood which coincide with his blackouts, including saving his childhood sweetheart Kayleigh, from being molested by her father and tormented by her sociopath brother .

The actions he takes, and those he enables others to take during his blackouts, change the timeline in the new future wherein he awakes. As he continues to do this, he realizes that even though his intentions are good, the actions he takes have unintended consequences. Moreover, the assimilation of dozens of years' worth of new memories from the alternate timelines causes him brain damage. Ultimately he decides that his attempts to alter the past end up only harming those he cares about. He travels back in time once more to the first day he met Kayleigh and scares her away. He succeeds in undoing his childhood as he knew it, and then destroys all his journals so that he's not tempted to bring any of it back.

The film ends eight years in the future with Evan leaving an office building and passing Kayleigh on the street. After a moment's hesitation, he lets her pass by without noticing him.

Critics have not been too kind to the film but the overall rating on IMDB is 7.8.Anyway that really isnt very important.Whats important is that realization struck.That I have been going about it all wrong.But an extended thought has consumed me since yesterday.Am I willing to change?The signs dont really look that healthy to be very honest.It is a scary place to be in,but I will try to be strong and ride it out.As I write this post,honestly I dont think there has been any difference in me from yesterday but hopefully there will be.Hopefully.

Another composition..

Can not say how I have come up with this one so soon after the first one.But here it goes nonetheless-

What have I always wanted?

I have never been too sure

This is a strange disease

That really has no cure

How does one become happy?

Is there a magic potion?

If your answer is yes

I am ready to pay a fortune

Is my definition of happiness

Really that strange?

It sometimes seems to me like

I'm walking through a maze

People ask me to change

And start 'thinking' less

Maybe that is the cause

Of all my life's mess

I have always cared for people

And expected the same back

But maybe they are not the same

Is a thought that I lack

I have hardly heard songs

That summarize my life well

And I am still to realize

Why all these thoughts still dwell

I sometimes think I should

Change my thinking process

But I also know my heart

Does not want a recess

How are these compositions

Coming out from the blue?

Or is it that this all

Is happening on a cue?

I am not sure as I end this

About what blew my fuse

After all doesn't every artist

Always need a muse?

My 50th post-A first time composition...

Strange what some situations make you do. Never thought I could write rhymes but here I am trying. It might not be good but it is honest. And that is important.

Here goes-

I want to write a song

About how I feel today

Its not a common feeling

That one gets everyday

I met a girl in college

She was perfect for me

I started talking to her

And my heart was full of glee

We talked for long hours

We talked into the night

We talked about everything

That God built in his might

She told me about her past

And how it made her cry

I could see myself a reason

For her happiness to reach the sky

She told me she was happy

And that I could be relieved

I don't know why but I thought

That she was lying through her teeth

She said she couldn't love me

And I couldn't see her gone

So I told her I would wait

Till she was ready to move on

But being who I am

I could not hold on

And before you could snap

There; She was gone

I didn't cry myself a river

And told myself I would be strong

But before long I realized

I want her in my song

When this realization struck

I wanted to tell her how I felt

Seeing my feelings, I thought

Maybe she would melt

Alas heard that she will be engaged

Do not know whether to be sad or happy

I don't know what this feeling is

But it makes me feel crappy

And as I end I will say

This was my story in a song

When will these twists of fate end?

Second time this has happened, All wrong....

Just overcame my writer's block

A strange thing happened today.In the last few days,I had no motivation to blog. Hence its been 20 days since I last wrote. But today something happened that made me wanna come back and write. I do not know if this is gonna be a comeback through single post or whether I am gonna start writing frequently again but I do know one thing. I wanna write today.

I have written here before about someone. For those of you who have not read it, I request you to go read this post-http://mytimes-prateek.blogspot.com/2010/03/yet-another-blog-post.html

The 4 most beautiful days in my life were 11-14 Feb 2010. Yes I had had the day where I had gotten admitted into IIMC on 10 April 2009 but even that did not compare to what I felt in those 4 days. I have this strange definition of happiness in my head and for once, I experienced it.

She was perfect in my eyes. I remember not noticing her in college for the first few months when everyone did. But I also remember 3rd December 2009 when I talked to her for the first time. It was regarding a change in marks in a small 10 mark quiz that we had had. I fought with her over half a mark. After 2 minutes of convincing her I knew that she was not gonna relent and increase my marks. But I still kept pushing for a good 10 minutes just to be able to talk to her. I promised myself that day that I was gonna talk to her again. And soon.

That promise I kept.11 December 2009 and I did go and ask her out. She kept refusing but I guess once you hear a no, you sort of think that it couldnt get worse and you keep trying. Thats what I did and this time she did relent. 2nd Jan 2010 she said. Great beginning to the new year I thought.

It came to 31 December and I called her to ask her about the time and place. She said that she wont be comfortable and that we shouldnt go. I slept at 12.15 on new years eve that day.Anyway that story came to a rest for close to 20 days.

Cut to late January and I wrote her a mail apologising for me being pushy before. I also told her that if a friend was what she was looking for at this time, I was ready to be that. She responded and hence started a chain of mails where we talked about everything. This led to messaging and finally phone calls. We talked about everything in those phone calls. Everything!This happened during 11-14 Feb. Unfortunately things soured after that. Most of it was my doing really. I couldnt really understand what she wanted and that is why I couldnt give her that. Instead I tried giving her something that she didnt want and hence the inevitable happened.

We havent talked for exactly 3 months now(If you dont count a 28 line chat on gtalk). Today somehow I came to know that she is going to be engaged soon. And married at the end of the year. I do not know what to feel at this point. Here I was thinking that having come back, I would go talk to her again and offer her what she really needed. And getting scared thinking about how I was gonna start. I do not think it should be a big problem now. I can start by congratulating her.

I am kinda a believer now in the phrase-"Every cloud has a silver lining." God knows how I would have reacted had something happened between us and I had then come to know that she was getting married according to the wishes of her parents. I do not exactly know whether I should feel happy or sad. But I do feel relieved. A big burden is off now and I do not need to be worried when I go talk to her next.

Anyway as before I wish her all the best in her professional and personal life and hope that she does get whatever she has always wanted to achieve. And I also ask God to please stop playing these games with me.

My 5 favourite films of all time

I would like to recount here the 5 best movies I believe I have seen.And its not like I am a big film buff.But still I do enjoy critically evaluating the ones I do manage to watch.I will give out my Hindi and English lists separately.So here are my top 5 English movies in no order-

1)50 First Dates(Adam Sandler,Drew Barrymore)

Current IMDB rating-6.8

Rotten tomatoes rating-44%

Strange as it may sound as it is not one of those movies that usually comes up on the 'classic films' list or on the favourites list for a lot of people.For me it is one of the best films I have ever seen.It is just the kind of movie that builds hope in one that true love does exist and reaffirms my faith that there is a beautiful love story out there for me as well.

2)The Shawshank Redemption(Tim Robbins,Morgan Freeman)

Current IMDB rating-9.2(Ranked No.1)

Rotten tomatoes rating-88%

I saw this flick after getting a lot of recommendations.And believe me it does take a lot of recommendations for me to watch a classic.But I absolutely loved this one.A story of hope and faith and how beautiful emotions they are.Whenever I am sad or depressed I watch the ending here and it helps me overcome these feelings.

3)A Walk to Remember(Shane West,Mandy Moore)

Current IMDB rating-7.1

Rotten tomatoes rating-28%

Another movie which is rated pretty lowly by critics for a combined RT rating of just 28%(28 good reviews out of 101).I am a sucker for these kind of romances.The transformation that one witnesses in the character of Landon in the movie after he discovers his true feelings for Mandy Moore's character makes it a great watch.

4)A Beautiful Mind(Russell Crowe,Jennifer Connelly)

Current IMDB rating-8.0

Rotten tomatoes rating-78%

Looks to me like my list moves on the extremes on Rotten Tomatoes.From 44 to 88 to 28 to 78.Haha.Anyway this movie is truly made great by one name and that is Russell Crowe.He enacted that role of the amazing John Nash brilliantly and I am still shocked as to why he did not win the Oscar that year.

5)Rocky 4(Sylvester Stallone)

Current IMDB rating-5.9

Rotten tomatoes rating-44%

I love the whole Rocky series.Never been a big action movie fan but this is different.It works on the same levels with me as TSR.This has been the most successful franchise in the Rocky series so far and I hold it closer than the other 5 parts due to it being the first movie that I saw from the franchise.

Just missed the list-Ghost

My top 5 Hindi movies again in no order are-

1)Andaz Apna Apna(Aamir Khan,Salman Khan,Raveena Tandon,Karishma Kapoor)

IMDB rating-8.4

The most howlarious movie ever.Each dialogue in this one is worth its weight in gold.One movie which knows that its a comedy,knows its job is to entertain and goes to the full extent while doing it.There isnt even one dull moment in this one and as far as I am concerned I can watch it 5 times in one day.I do not think that even the people associated with it realized what they were coming up with until they completed the film.It was a shame that it actually flopped in its time.

2)Gol Maal(Amol Palekar,Utpal Dutt,Bindiya Gowswami)

IMDB rating-8.6

Along with AAA,Hera Pheri and Jane bhi do Yaaron,I think this is the best comedy ever made in India.The story was so simple yet so complicated.It comprised of brilliant performances by all its actors and some really really funny dialogues make it immensely watchable.If you still havent checked it out,please do so on my recommendation.

3)Avtaar(Rajesh Khanna,Shabana Azmi)

IMDB rating-7.0

With the kind of movies I have been coming up with so far,I think people would be surprised that this movie appeals so much to me.I still have no idea why,I mean a lot of other movies have come on the same lines and I have not liked any of them.The story is pretty relatable and ahead of its time.

4)Masoom(Naseeruddin Shah,Shabana Azmi)

IMDB rating-8.4

The best movie on its theme(Read adultery) that has been made so far in India.With seasoned actors like Naseer and Shabana you expect amazing performances but both of them exceed themselves here.The performances of the child actors are amazing as well and one song in the movie is beautiful(Read Tujhse Naraaz Zindagi)

5)Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa(Shah Rukh Khan,Deepak Tijori,Suchitra Krishnamoorthi)

IMDB rating-7.7

This one is different from all the other 9 movies I have listed so far as in its probably the most relatable movie ever.I mean ok so I havent failed 3 times in a row or maybe I dont know how to write songs or play musical instruments still the emotions in the movie are so lifelike.This I think was the best performance of SRK ever and the kind of movies he should have continued doing.Unfortunately he has followed the popular but the less challenging path.

Just missed the list-Ankahee

So there it is.I have listed out all of my favourite films and would like to hear the same from you guys.Tell me if some of these movies make your list or not.Maybe there are recommendations you have for me after looking at my list.Whatever it is please let me know through comments.

A Facebook Group to carry this forward!

Just to inform everyone,me and a couple of my friends have created a Facebook group just to carry this initiative forward.So all of you guys who are on Facebook can join the group here-

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=120181764668387

The group is called Top CAT and we would be very regular with it.Join it and have fun preparing.

WIMEI?No Please!

The IIMC final call list for the batch of 2012 came out more than 20 days ago.And like a week back,the other IIMs have also started bringing out their call lists which gives out names of those people who the college has looked at as prospective students(Prospective because some students do not actually join the IIMs who select them).

For the record there are 357 common CAB calls this time around.There are 280 BLACK calls and 213 BLACKI calls(I seems to have changed its criteria bigtime).And only 69 fortunate(???) people have managed BLACKIS.BLACKI used to be such a nice word.Now with S,R,T,another R being added as initials of the new IIMs being formed,a new word will have to be formed which denotes people who have managed calls from each and every IIM!

Anyway I have been regular on PagalGuy over the last few months again to try and show people that rankings are no way to select a college when it comes to choosing between two class places like IIMA and IIMC.Rankings stop mattering when it comes to choosing between these 2 places and one should try and look at the best 'fit' as people call it.Every IIM or any college for that matter that has existed for sometime has its own unique culture.

When you are looking at selecting a college without looking at the rankings,its the culture which will have to be the deciding factor.I mean come on seriously,would one look at rankings when selecting between lets say a Wharton and a Harvard?

But unfortunately I have been noticing this trend among prospective students there to brand us WIMEI.IIMA has always been called WIMWI which translates to Well known Institute of Management in Western India.So if you try and translate it for us it will become Well known Institute of Management in Eastern India aka WIMEI.

Even the newspapers have not been too kind to us and have sometimes quoted us as IIM Kolkata instead of IIM Calcutta.Change our name because the city got a change of name?If that were to be the case the full form of IITM would not have been IIT Madras but IIT Mumbai,and IIT Madras would have become IITC.

Anyway my point is that an institute as old as IIMC(Will be our 50th foundation day next year) has a culture which should not be tampered.We have always been IIMC and will remain IIMC.Please dont start calling us IIMK.

And to that end please dont start calling us WIMEI.IIMA has always been WIMWI and we dont want a name which bears so much resemblance to an already well established name.I understand juniors being interested in their college but if you have to please denote your institute by the name 'Joka'.Believe me no word brings about such sense of proud in any IIMCian as this one does!

Mentos-Dimag ki batti jala de!

Superstitions are amazing.They have this kind of placebo effect on you where they make you believe that you will do well in an exam,an interview,a date(:P) and everything else that you do if you follow them.This might not be true but it gives a man strength to face situations which usually make him nervous.

I have a lot of superstitions.In the 2nd term of my engineering I failed an exam for the first time ever in my life.The paper was of Engineering Graphics or as we used to call it-EGR.Now this paper used to have 6 questions as all Pune University papers do.All these questions were do 1 out of the following 2 types.4 were of 16 marks each and 2 of 18 marks.

There was this rumour that no one could get less than 12 marks in the paper because you got 2 marks for every question if all you did was mark the x and the y axis.So if all you did in the paper was draw 6 xy axes you would be assured of 12 marks.

When I appeared for the paper,like always I solved all questions to the best of my ability.I have never really been very good at subjects like these which require you to be pinpoint when you are solving questions.People who have done the course will be shocked to know that I never ever used the DRAFTER!I always use to draw with the help of a simple roll-n-draw.

Anyway so the results came out and they were the worst results of my life.I had managed to get a princely score of 8 out of 100 in EGR.In effect,I broke the back of that belief that no one could score less than 12 marks.

I had bought a new T shirt and a new jeans before the next set of exams came around.Both were from the brand of Pepe jeans and when I started my 3rd term exams I wore them on the first day.The exam went quite well and I thought of wearing them again for the next paper.This continued and I kept wearing the same through all the 6 exams in that term(5+EGR).

After that term,I became so comfortable in those clothes that believe it or not,I have worn them in every exam season since.That would include the 4th,5th,6th,7th and 8th term papers durin engineering.I wore them during 2 or 3 of my mock CATs and I wore them on the most important day of my life on 16 November 2008 on CAT day.Since joining IIMC,I have worn them in all the 6 exam weeks so far.Even during the winters I used to wear the half sleeves T shirt and a full sleeves on top of it.

Another one of my superstitions is eating a Mentos chewing gum before starting any paper.Since I always have a good stock of mentos in my home,I had an easy access to them.I eat a mentos just as I receive the question paper.Have been doing it since the 6th term of engineering and the trend has carried on to the IIMC papers.

I know it sounds quite weird but that is how it is.The situation has come to a stage where sometimes I really wanna believe the Mentos tag line of 'Dimag ki batti jala de'!

PS-Thanks for the amazing response to the other blog.It has garnered more than 50 views on the first day and has more followers than this 2 year old blog.I hope you enjoyed reading the first post and that you will keep coming back for future ones.At the same time I hope that you will keep supporting this blog too.

A New Blog!

To all my readers especially those of you who are CAT/XAT/FMS/X MBA Entrance exam aspirants,I would like you to check out the new blog I have started which basically will give you a few tips and tricks on the quantitative section of the paper.The tricks handed out here basically have to do with numbers and techniques of how to deal with them.

I will be putting out a topic weekly hopefully and would hope that it would help the people who need help and those who have already cleared these exams will find the posts interesting.This basically goes out as the first step to me starting my own company in a few years time.Lets hope for the best..

Anyway have a look at the blog here-http://quanterstrike.blogspot.com/

and let me know what you think about it.The first post is coming soon.

PS-This blog will continue simultaneously with that one.I hope the regular readers of this one still follow it..

Of comfort level and the like

Saturday and I finally decided to pay my friend a visit at his coaching center where he is preparing for his actuarial examinations.I know not a lot of you would be aware about what an actuary means and I do not really know the exact definition either so the best idea would be to go and google it if you are that curious.

Ok so being the planners that he and I are we started hatching a plan yesterday night.He has a batchmate at his institute who is supposedly India's No.2 woman golfer.We talked about me acting as a sort of a manager for her the time I am here and if it were to progress smoothly look to carry it forward even when I went back to Joka.The real purpose though as in all our plans was something else.I would leave the answer to the readers guess.

As it happened I reached the institute around 1 and the class was still going on.This was basically a doubt class so my friend(we will call him AS from now on) could leave while it was still going on and we went and had lunch at this dinghy place nearby.South Campus is full of places like these.When we cam back,class had finished and we met the girl.Now AS has this weird thing in his head where he finds it very hard to introduce two people well.While we are standing there he goes-'This is my friend Prateek.I talked to you about him.He is looking to expand his social circle.'

In my head I went-'What the hell moron?' but that didnt really come out as words.The next 15 minutes were very very awkward.I just could not bring myself around to initiating a conversation with that girl and AS told me later that she said the following about me-'Why is he acting so weirdly?'.Ok so some part of it was my mistake but was it fully my mistake?I do not know why but I just did not feel comfortable in the company of that girl.And she did not really make any effort to make me comfortable too.

Later when we were standing at the bus stand to catch our respective buses(he to gurgaon and I to Uttam nagar) I started pestering him to go to Noida to meet this girl he has been talking to for a long time now.I mean there were no surreptitious intentions there like there are with most of our plans.The point was just to have some fun and waste some time.I asked him to call his friend up which he did.And he started telling her that he wanted to come but could not coz he had lots of studying to do(Yeah his exams are in the 2nd week of may and he is taking 3 at one go).I on the other hand was prompting him again and again to go.Finally it irritated him so much that he handed the phone to me.Now I had never talked to this girl before.But when I did start talking it all came out so naturally.For two people who were talking for the first time,we talked very easily and it somehow made me realize something.

It made me realize that being comfortable in someone's company is not really a choice for you to make.It just happens by itself.You will not really make an extra effort but some people just have that compatibility level with you from the beginning which makes you pretty relaxed in their company.While other people do not and you need a lot of time with them to make good friends with them.

So all in all a successful day.Another lesson learnt..:)

Finally learnt how to upload pics...Here are some from the Goa trip...

A face in the metro and another plan!

As my regular readers would know,I have been interning with Dabur India Ltd. at their corporate office at Ghaziabad.To come here everyday,I have to board the Delhi Metro at the Janakpuri West station and get down at Anand Vihar which is 25 stations away.When I get inside the metro I usually dont get a place to sit and the bigger problem is that I have to carry my laptop to work everyday.I keep standing for 20 stations on an average and finally get to sit around the Yamuna bank station.Throughout the first week of these metro rides,I kept noticing a face.She was usually in the train before I got in and got out one station before me.I so wanted to initiate a conversation but when I finally grew up enough courage by the 2nd week,she was nowhere to be seen.I have been doing some market visits so have boarded the train only twice in the last week but I havent seen her.But I make a promise to myself.If I do see her again in the train,I will start up a conversation.

The other part of todays post is about what I plan to do after my MBA.Having had no work ex before joining IIMC,I had no idea about how I would fare in a job.And having done 2 weeks here,I have grown even more doubtful if I have it in me to be successful at a daily desk job.When I think about that I also think about the option of owning something of my own.I have a couple of options in mind the most prominent is the education sector.When I look back at what I have done all my life,the most enjoyable time for me was preparing for CAT and taking classes for a SNAP batch at IMS simultaneously.And when I think about it,people might call the education sector saturated but when one really looks at it,most sectors are saturated.One just has to come up with something that will connect to people and thats what I will look to do.To that end,I want to start taking some sessions wherein I would look at talking to people regarding CAT.Anant talked about organising these sessions before I leave Delhi.Lets see how this plan pans out!

A baby and the heat!

This was a fairly free week.Not a lot of work plus 1 chutti in between on Wednesday.Thanks to Dr. Ambedekar for being born.Two other things have been noticeable this week.

Number one-My baby niece Aaliyah has become quite the little devil these days.This is around the time in her life when babies start growing teeth and also start walking apparently.So she keeps us quite busy as she keeps climbing things in her will to stand on her own.Yesterday I achieved a new high in my handling of babies.I made her sleep all by myself.And today the other side of the coin came down.I was to watch her when her mom went somewhere for 15 minutes.And she tripped and fell while standing against a table.A little bump came up and it made me feel miserable.Guess you have to get used to these things when you have a baby around.Also I think that I will be a small expert on how to handle babies when I leave Delhi.Will add to my longggggggggg list of amazing qualities.Lol.On a serious note,I think its a good quality to have without actually ever having to handle your own child.

Number Two-The sweltering Delhi heat.42.9 degree celsius.This was Fridays temperature.42.6 was Thursdays.Due to my summer project I had to roam around a lot during these two days and I am happy to have this day off.As I did this,I saw a lot of people who do this roaming around everyday.And I salute them.It also made me thing how people would survive on this Earth lets say 20 years from now.At the rate things are moving it wont be a big deal to see a 50 degree day quite regularly in the future.Also does that 2012 theory hold any water?Well we would have to wait to find out.

Its time for a change to come!

I have been posting a lot these days.Frankly I dont have a lot of work to do at this point and sit on the internet a lot.Anyway two things happened in the last 2 days which have made me keen on making some changes with my life.

First of all the results for the IIMC GD-PI process came out on the 10th.The same day they came out for us last year.The date brought back memories of probably the greatest day of my life.The 2nd thing was that today while coming on the metro I heard the early days song again after a long time.And this brought a flood of memories.It just took me back to last year when after I was assured a place at Joka,how I used to listen to this song time and time again.And these 2 things just made me realize of fortunate I really am.Studying at one of the greatest places on the Earth and certainly the greatest in India,I should be counting my blessings.Cant believe it has been one year already and that now we will be welcoming our junior batch.Frankly when I look back it has really been the greatest year of my life.

This made me think to myself-Why do I still keep sulking so much?Why dont I care about the place I am at?I have seen friends who have tried for 3-4 years to reach this place,friends who have been trying for 2-3 and still havent managed to get here.And sometimes I believe that maybe I got here too easily.

But I promise myself today that I will change.I will stop feeling sorry for myself.I have been so intent on looking at the depressing things in life that I have forgotten to look at the things that should make me happy.At this point,I just dont think that I love myself enough and its time to change that.Its time to change my source of gratification to something inside myself rather than to keep looking at people to make me happy.Its time to stop thinking about what I dont have and its time to enjoy what I do have instead.Coz however hard one tries one cant get everything in life can he?

Anyway as I close this I would just like to welcome the batch of 47/17 to IIM Calcutta.Would just tell them at this point that it will be the greatest daze of your lives as we like to say it.And to all my batchmates and friends,I hope we have another fulfilling year at Joka and leave a legacy behind for other batches to follow.I hope we are able to give back to this place because frankly it has given us a lot.

A Passion?Is it?

Someone who has been following my blog regularly would know that I had bought a camera while I was leaving for IIMC.Its a Sony w210 12.1 MP 4X optical zoom camera.For the first 5 or 6 months I used it to click random shots of the campus,a few more pictures when my parents visited Calcutta and very little else.Then came our Goa trip in Mid March.And I think I have developed a new interest.

I took more than 200 shots in the 3 day trip and some certainly didnt have either me or my family.By the way I have not talked about that trip before but it was an awesome one.I had been to Goa once way back when I was like 2 years old.Obviously I did not remember any of it.This time I tried to take in as much as I could.Also I felt that this was a great time to be in Goa.I had heard a lot of stories about the heat in Goa at this point of the year.Honestly I do not know why people told me that.Yeah it was hot but it was not nearly as hot as had been described to me.And as I went it with low expectations I ended up enjoying it a lot more.

We stayed very close to the Calangute Beach for the first 2 days.We hired 2 Taxis on the 2nd day and managed to visit some of the prime sites of Goa in the Lighthouse,Saint Francis Church and also visited 3 beaches in Sinquerim,Anjuna and Vagator.The beaches got better from the first to the last.I was told that Musafir was shot at Anjuna and Dil Chahta Hai at Vagator.

On the 3rd day we moved to Panjim and visited Dona Paula and Miramar beach.In the evening we took a ride in the famous Paradise ferry.That was an amazing trip too.

Anyway back to the passion.I enjoyed taking all those pictures and learnt a lot about working with my camera well.As I close this I look forward to going to Rishikesh on the weekend.That should be another good trip with the camera.We also have plans of visiting Leh in June.Lets see if that works out.

I will make sure of one thing though.For the 2 months that I am in Delhi I will visit all the famous places around here.The camera will be my constant companion on these visits.I will also learn how to put pictures on this blog and hopefully will post a few soon.

PS-The Rishikesh plan has gone to hell...:D

Another short one!

Just wanted to mention that I have finally realized the meaning of 'What goes around comes around'.Too bad the lesson had to be so harsh...

The IPL phenomenon:An Analysis..

I suddenly realized that my blog has kind of turned into a ranting hotspot for me where I come in after a period of 20 days and post one depressing post after the other.To that end I thought that maybe this time I would write about something that is the flavor of the season at this time:The Indian Premier League.I am quite astonished as I guess a lot of others are at how quickly this event has managed to capture the imagination of people worldwide.Or that is what I am given to believe.But I can surely testify about the fact in India.This event mainly came about after BCCI's nemesis channel Zee came about launching its version of the franchisee league system in what it called ICL namely the Indian Cricket League.I was never a big follower of ICL and barely watched a few matches of that event in the 3 years(???) that it lasted.What it managed to do though was to finally take T20 to the platform where it could represent cricket as a sport on the world stage.And also it made the BCCI wake up to the endless money making possibilities that this form of the game had to offer.
Now Lalit Modi who is the chairman of the IPL says that he had this idea of launching a franchise city based system since the mid 90s when he wanted to launch it with the 50 over format.At that time the BCCI didnt have the money power that it now possesses and certainly not the business acumen that the powers in the BCCI now possess.So that idea never took off.In hindsight I dont think that the 50 over format could ever have been as successful as the 20 over format and the reasons are quite clear to all.Now when the league was finally conceptualised almost 4 years ago now and franchisees sold off to some top businessmen in India,I think not everyone was sure that the format could be a success.Here the concept of the 'icon' players worked beautifully.Seeing players from one's city representing the city built up city loyalties and that was the factor which ensured massive crowd presence at virtually every match.As the league looks at expansion now by incorporating two more teams(370 million $ really?),shifting locations to places like the United States and expanding the concept of the Champions League,it will be quite interesting to see where this can take cricket in the years to come.
I would like to analyse the 8 teams on a player to player and a performance basis in the two and a half seasons that the league has been played so far in the order of their combined performance so far-

1)Rajasthan Royals(Combined W/L-23/13)

With a win loss of 13-3 in the 1st season,6-7 in the 2nd and 4-3 so far in the 3rd,Rajasthan has been the overachieving team by far over the course of the 3 seasons.Even when they finished 6th in season 2 over two highly hyped and much more expensive teams(Namely Mumbai and Kolkata),I think they overachieved(No Watson,Tanveer,Akmal for the whole tournament and Smith in horrible form).They were taken out of their comfort zone when the tournament moved to South Africa as the management had very beautifully built a team of bits and pieces players who would be a big threat in Indian conditions(As the 1st season showed).Still they were one match away from qualifying for the finals.The best thing about this team is their ability to represent a sum which is greater than the parts put together.Most of the success should be credit to a certain SK Warne who was the best skipper Australia never had(Not that it made them suffer terribly though).The team has found new stars every season.Some of the names who come to mind are Asnodkar,Trivedi,Abhishek Raut,Abhishek Jhunjhunwala and a few others.I have been supporting them since the 2nd match of season 1 and I am proud to be Royals supporter.I have belief that when it comes to the crunch stages i.e. if they do get into the semifinals this year,I see them going all the way.Warne has been an amazing performer under pressure and he has made his team so as well.

2)Delhi Daredevils(Combined W/L-21/15)

Probably along with Chennai the most consistent team in the 3 seasons.They have made the Semifinals in both the seasons so far and look like doing so for a 3rd season running.The good thing for them is that they have got a lot of India nationals in their team in Sehwag,Gambhir,Nehra,Karthik and Mishra.Along with that they hired foreign players shrewdly in the 1st auction buying AB DeVilliers,Tillakratne Dilshan and backing it up with an amazing buy of Dirk Nannes in the 2nd.I hated them for the treatment they meted out to a legend in Glenn Mcgrath in the 2nd season when they didnt play him even when they were assured of a semifinal spot.Result-Gilchrist took them to the cleaners in the semifinal when the inexperience of Nannes showed.My prediction for them is a semifinal place this season as well but however hard I try I cant see them winning the trophy this season as well.

3)Mumbai Indians(Combined W/L-18/16)

Now this is the most surprising team of the event.With the array of stars that they have they should have atleast made the semifinals in both the seasons.Instead they finished 5th and 7th in the 2 seasons respectively.The team comprises of players like Tendulkar,Jayasurya,Bravo,Harbhajan,Zaheer(2nd season onwards),Malinga to name a few.They have struggled due to injuries as well where Sachin missed half the 1st season,malinga the full first season,Harbhajan 11 matches of the 1st season and Zaheer most matches of the 2nd.They seemed to have found their rhythm this season(they have been lucky with 5 home matches and 1 psuedo home match at the start of the season,lets see how they perform in chennai,jaipur and bangalore) although I would still like to see Sanath opening with Sachin.Their bowling looks amazing and their batting solid but if and when they do play the semifinals I really see them struggling if Sachin fails as a batsman in the match.Their middle order is inexperienced and I dont think Kieron Pollard justifies the money spent on him.They will reach the semis but winning the tournament looks a big ask especially now that the semis will be played in Bangalore and not in Mumbai.

4)Chennai Superkings(Combined W/L-19/18)

This team has been the most disappointing this season.When they bought players in the 1st edition they went all out for Dhoni which was a sound decision.They got Hayden relatively cheaply and he has been amazing for them.For someone to average close to 50 in T20 matches is outstanding.They bought some good Indian players in Raina,Badrinath and some great foreign players in Murali,Flintoff,Oram,Albie Morkel and Fleming(who is now the coach for this team).While the batting has carried them throughout the first 2 seasons their bowling has been way too inconsistent.The likes of Balaji,Gony,Tyagi and Morkel just dont inspire enough confidence.Murali has been good but not outstanding,Ntini is a spent force now and Oram and Flintoff out for the whole season.I had predicted after their first match that they would probably finish 7th this season just above Punjab and they have proved me right so far.Though they might finish above Kolkata,I dont see them reaching the semis this time around.

5)Kings XI Punjab(Combined W/L-18/18)

Along with Rajasthan,this was the most consistent team in the first season with 10 wins and 4 losses in the league stages.They lost the most important match though in the semifinal to Chennai.They were good in the 2nd season as well without the services of Shaun Marsh who was amazing in the 1st season where they finished 5th and just missed out on a semis spot due to Net run rate.They have been horrible this year though.Sangakkara as captain has been insipid and has made a lot of mistakes.The biggest of them all is continuing to play his good friend Mahela Jayawardena even when he is so out of form.Its the first time I have seen a player get the captaincy for playing poorly.The best bowler in most matches hasnt bowled his full quota,they have dropped their best bowler in Theron after 2 games to fit in Lee and Yuvraj Singh has been very lacklustre(Maybe because he is not the captain anymore???).All in all they definitely look like finishing at the bottom this season.

6)Bangalore Royal Challengers(Combined W/L-16/18)

This team has grown beautifully over the 3 seasons.They were horrible in the 1st and with the team that they had,they should have been that.They started woefully in the 2nd after losing 4 of their first 5 matches and made the finals after Kumble took over.And they have come together as a team this season.At the time I write this White and Pietersen have joined them and they look like having problems of plenty today.They made an intelligent but in Eoin Morgan this season and although he hasnt performed till now,I am sure he will in the near future.Ross Taylor is about to join them as well and at this point they look like a team which could well go all the way in this season.

7)Deccan Chargers(Combined W/L-14/22)

The wooden spoon of the first season was turned into a championship performance in the next but that doesnt hide the fact that it did have luck involved.They were horrible with their array of stars who never played like a team in the first season(Symonds,Gibbs,Gilly,Afridi to name a few) winning 2 games and losing 12.In the 2nd season,they started with 4 wins on the trot before they started struggling again losing the next 3 and barely making the semis as the 4th ranked team.There though they won due to an amazing knock by Gilly although they never should have won the championship match putting the score they did.This season 2 they started well but have lost 2 on the go now.Their bowling just doesnt look good enough and they depend a lot on Gilly at the top.They have been a little unlucky in a way by playing their home games at neutral places(Mumbai at DY Patil as a home game was ridiculous) but then they might be hapy as they had lost all 10 games they played at the Rajiv Gandhi stadium.They might fight for a semi final place this time and might trouble Delhi and Rajasthan but I see them finishing 5th this season.

8)Kolkata Knightriders(Combined W/L-12/20)

Clearly the most uninspiring team of the event.This team looks so high on hype but is so low on performance.As much as a fan I am of Dada,he is just not a good enough T20 player and I hope he realizes that come next season and he doesnt throw his hat into the auction coz I think he will be embarrassed.I dont know what the problem with this team is but they are the most distracted lot I have seen.I dont see them finishing higher than 6th this season although I had predicted a semi final spot for them before the start of the event.

Wow that turned into a long post.The IPL started on a bad note for me with Rajasthan losing their first 3 matches pretty badly but they looked to have turned the corner now.Here is hoping to some more amazing cricket this season.

Yet another Blog Post!

Here I am again.Back to the place I have become so accustomed to over the years.Singing my melancholy blues once again.Na na wont do it.I just realized that something ended today.I guess it never did start but I somehow had it built up in my head that it did and that it would go on to become the best thing that would ever happen to me.I was so anxious that I clung on to something that sadly did not even exist.And hence here I am again.Writing the same old blog entry which has kind of become a habit now.Even the song has started to hurt now.

I guess I kind of brought it unto myself.But then I got this impression that it would eventually work out.And that a certain someone would see what I wanted them to see.And what they should have seen.But I guess now that as time has gone on and taught me things,I just have stuck to my old habits more and more.I have always listened to my heart and although 'they' told me that that is what 'they' do as well,I guess I can safely say now that 'they' preach but 'they' do not follow it themselves.

Still I do not blame them.Although what they have been doing over the past 10 days has hurt me a lot but I should have known that the signs were ominous since a month.17th Feb was the beginning of the end and 19th March the end.The unfortunate thing was that the start if you want to call it that was only the beginning of Feb.And the story basically lasted just 4 days.Those 4 days were amazing though.Never in my life have I felt like I felt during those 4 days.

As I said in the last para,I dont blame them.I know that they are passing through a difficult phase in their life at the moment and I did not make things easier for them.I did not become what they would have liked me to become.I tried to become more than that and they were at this time not ready for it.And thats not their fault.The only problem I have with them is that I did try to change.And they still could not understand it.Or maybe they just did not want to.And for whatever we shared in those 4 days,I expected a better end.Story of my life.Looks like I always expect more than people are ready to offer.I still wish that they get what they are looking for in their life and somehow be more happy than they are now.With whoever they want to be happy with.

Anyway though the end has been swift,it will take some time for me to completely get over this.But then I am used to being here so it should not really be a big deal.Its just that I thought this time was different.I was wrong....Again.....

Do I think too much?

I dont completely understand my state of mind while writing this blog.A lot of things have happened since the last time I wrote here,some for the better,some for the worse...Some which have made me happy,some which havent so much..What I have realized is that I am a little stuck.I dont have a complete idea of where I am heading and for a guy who has always loved to plan things,this feeling is just not comfortable.

I think maybe some times I just think too much.However hard I try,I just cant change this fact about me.Anyway thats not what is troubling me the most at this time.What I am worried about is wanting to know if I were actually meant to do what I am doing now..I know this may sound insane to most.I mean IIMC is known to be one of the pinnacles of education in India.Surely it cant get much better than this..And lately I have started to think,what if it can?I talked about the thing that I had which made me so excited to start the new year.There have already been a lot of ebbs and flows to that thing and it is a little draining..Its like this-Happy day,Sad day,Happy day,Sad day and it goes on....

The first year is about to come to an end too...We start with our 3rd term end terms from the 2nd and they end on the 5th..And I leave for home on the 6th.At this time I can best describe what I am feeling as being tired mentally and wanting to rest.I have given up on my dream of going abroad by withdrawing from the STEP program.I have no idea where I will be posted during my internship and now I dont care anymore..I have kinda lost my intent on wanting to take up consulting as a career.I have no idea of what I want to do after I am through with my MBA.I dont know if this happens with other people as well but I always have been a big fan of dreams and their importance in our lives.I think the biggest motivation to wake up everyday is having a dream and having the passion to make it come true..At this time I have no dreams and this scares me....

People who want advice from me on how to prepare for IIM interviews always ask me one question-"Is there an ideal answer to the question-Why do you wanna do an MBA??"Now I have started to believe there better be.I would advise everyone who is looking for an ideal answer to look inside themselves and search for one.If you do find one and believe in it honestly,then you have an ideal answer.On the other hand if you cant find one,well then maybe after one year of your MBA you will be writing a similar blog post....Hence to every aspirant who gets an IIM GD-PI call today I would ask you to do one thing-INTROSPECT! 

Quick one!!

Reached my lowest ebb today.Time to really introspect.....