Just overcame my writer's block

A strange thing happened today.In the last few days,I had no motivation to blog. Hence its been 20 days since I last wrote. But today something happened that made me wanna come back and write. I do not know if this is gonna be a comeback through single post or whether I am gonna start writing frequently again but I do know one thing. I wanna write today.

I have written here before about someone. For those of you who have not read it, I request you to go read this post-http://mytimes-prateek.blogspot.com/2010/03/yet-another-blog-post.html

The 4 most beautiful days in my life were 11-14 Feb 2010. Yes I had had the day where I had gotten admitted into IIMC on 10 April 2009 but even that did not compare to what I felt in those 4 days. I have this strange definition of happiness in my head and for once, I experienced it.

She was perfect in my eyes. I remember not noticing her in college for the first few months when everyone did. But I also remember 3rd December 2009 when I talked to her for the first time. It was regarding a change in marks in a small 10 mark quiz that we had had. I fought with her over half a mark. After 2 minutes of convincing her I knew that she was not gonna relent and increase my marks. But I still kept pushing for a good 10 minutes just to be able to talk to her. I promised myself that day that I was gonna talk to her again. And soon.

That promise I kept.11 December 2009 and I did go and ask her out. She kept refusing but I guess once you hear a no, you sort of think that it couldnt get worse and you keep trying. Thats what I did and this time she did relent. 2nd Jan 2010 she said. Great beginning to the new year I thought.

It came to 31 December and I called her to ask her about the time and place. She said that she wont be comfortable and that we shouldnt go. I slept at 12.15 on new years eve that day.Anyway that story came to a rest for close to 20 days.

Cut to late January and I wrote her a mail apologising for me being pushy before. I also told her that if a friend was what she was looking for at this time, I was ready to be that. She responded and hence started a chain of mails where we talked about everything. This led to messaging and finally phone calls. We talked about everything in those phone calls. Everything!This happened during 11-14 Feb. Unfortunately things soured after that. Most of it was my doing really. I couldnt really understand what she wanted and that is why I couldnt give her that. Instead I tried giving her something that she didnt want and hence the inevitable happened.

We havent talked for exactly 3 months now(If you dont count a 28 line chat on gtalk). Today somehow I came to know that she is going to be engaged soon. And married at the end of the year. I do not know what to feel at this point. Here I was thinking that having come back, I would go talk to her again and offer her what she really needed. And getting scared thinking about how I was gonna start. I do not think it should be a big problem now. I can start by congratulating her.

I am kinda a believer now in the phrase-"Every cloud has a silver lining." God knows how I would have reacted had something happened between us and I had then come to know that she was getting married according to the wishes of her parents. I do not exactly know whether I should feel happy or sad. But I do feel relieved. A big burden is off now and I do not need to be worried when I go talk to her next.

Anyway as before I wish her all the best in her professional and personal life and hope that she does get whatever she has always wanted to achieve. And I also ask God to please stop playing these games with me.